Everyone Has to Start Somewhere

Less than 2 years ago, I finished my UX Bootcamp program and I started applying to internships. I was desperate for someone to give me a shot at designing a real product. I had some portfolio projects, but I wanted and needed to get my hands dirty designing something real.

A little bit about me, I had no work experience, no formal design education and I was only able to work remotely. My job options were extremely limited.

Unfortunately, my desperation led to a bad decision.

A Bad Decision

I was in a Slack channel for remote job seekers and a woman reached out to me. She asked if I would be interested in an unpaid “apprenticeship”. I asked for more information and she wouldn’t tell me anything. I couldn’t get her full name or the name of her company; that was my first clue that something was up. She asked me to video chat with her the next day, and I reluctantly agreed.

I talked with her for 20 minutes. I was so nervous and confused; I gave a horrible presentation of one of my design projects. I thought for sure that I had blown the interview, but 2 minutes later she asked if I’d like to come onboard at her agency!

It was odd to me that she would hire me on the spot after only speaking with me for a few minutes, so I asked her some questions. I asked her to tell me more about the position I was being offered. What did this role entail? What was expected of me? How long was the internship? What kind of mentorship and education would I get?

This last question shocked her.

She didn’t understand why would I expect anything in return for my work. I suggested that if she liked working with me she could write me a letter of recommendation or allow me to add the projects to my portfolio. She firmly told me “no”. She would never write me a letter, and I could not put any of my work on my portfolio site. She would not be my mentor or my teacher. She told me that I should be grateful for the opportunity to work for free.

She quickly ended the call, sent over a long non-disclosure and told me that I had 4 hours to sign it and send it back or else the offer would be rescinded. I stupidly signed the papers and sent them to her.

I had landed my first design gig…and it felt awful.

The Misunderstanding

A couple of days later she asked me to jump on a call at a specific time. I assumed she was referring to my ES time zone. I got on the call and she didn’t show up, so I messaged her and she told me the call was in 3 hours (PS time). I had an appointment at that time and I asked if we could reschedule. She never responded.

The next morning I received an email from her that said I was fired.

I’m embarrassed to say that I replied to this email and apologized and begged for my “apprenticeship” back, but she never responded.

She made me feel worthless. I felt unworthy of a paying job. Unworthy of any sort of compensation. Unworthy to ask questions. Unworthy of being a designer.

The Needle in the Haystack

Fast forward a few weeks. I was hired as an unpaid intern at Icebrkr.

When I had my first interview, I was skeptical. I felt like no real company would want me…but this interview felt different. The interviewer was much more personable and I gave a much better presentation of my portfolio. At the end of the interview, he told me to email him if I had any questions, so I did.

I sent him an email the next day and asked: What kind of mentorship and education comes with this role?

He responded with paragraphs about the plans they had for their internship program. The mentorship they planned to give me, the skills they hoped to teach me and the equity deal I would be offered after three-months.

I was full-time at Icebrkr for over a year and it was a dream come true. How many people can say that their boss sends them slack messages like this?

When you feel like an Imposter

If you’re just starting your design career, you are worthy of a job that values you. You are worth an amazing company’s time. You are worthy of payment in some form. If you are interviewing for any position (but especially an unpaid position), ask:

If you can’t pay me in cash, how can you pay me? When I walk away from this experience, what will I have gained?

If it’s a good company, they will have a long, thought-out answer. Otherwise, take your exit. Sometimes you have to work without pay for a little while, but you should never work for someone who doesn’t respect you.

Even when you do find the right fit, don’t work for free forever. Use your unpaid internship as a stepping point to a paid job. I used Icebrkr as a stepping stone to my next (paid!) position.

It’s tough when you’re first starting, but don’t undervalue yourself. If you have one portfolio project, you are worth something!